The HEA Cafe

I usually save my whining for my personal blog over at another site, but when I was trying to think about what to write today, all I could think about was how I haven’t had hot water in my house since February 20.  I’ll spare you the details, but we have a leak that’s resulting in the entire house having to be re-piped, an on-going effort.

Now, if I was writing erotic romance, hunky plumbers would show up at my door with tool kits…

But this is the real world.  I’m getting “competent” over “hunky”, but there’s nothing wrong with that.  In fact, when it comes to plumbing, electric, carpentry or brain surgery I’ll take “competent” over “hunky” any day.

Anyway, it’s made me think about bathrooms and plumbing–a lot–especially since I write historicals.  Many of my books are shipboard romances, and the intricacies of taking care of business in the past, especially in the small confines of a ship, fascinate me.

Sailors use to have two ways they’d relieve themselves:  They would urinate into large tubs, because hey, liquid is liquid, and if you need to put out a fire in a hurry, it’s better than using the drinking water.  The other bathroom needs were taken care of by hanging onto lifelines with your backside dangling over the bow of the ship, at the ship’s head, which gave rise to bathrooms aboard ship being called the “head”.

In her book Rough Medicine–Surgeons at Sea in the Age of Sail Joan Druett makes a point that other writers of naval medicine have made:  One of the biggest problems in the age of sail was constipation.  Combine bad food, not enough roughage or water, and then being told that you’re going to hang over the side to go while cold waves are jumping up at you…well, it’s not hard to understand why this was a continuing issue.

Now, I’ve got two sons, a husband, and four brothers, so “potty humor” has been a huge part of my life.  I sometimes wonder if I think about this stuff more than other historical writers, but it niggles at me.  If I’ve got a woman disguised as a man aboard ship, how’s she doing her stuff?  What happens when she menstruates?  I had to change the plot of one of my novels to a scenario where the heroine wasn’t bunking down with the boys for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was she couldn’t hang her butt out on the lifelines.   In another novel my heroine had a cunningly carved gourd funnel she kept pinned inside her trousers so she could stand up like the guys.  And if you want your own disposable funnel for being able to stand and deliver, I recommend these.

And then there’s the daily bathing thing.  Forget about it.  Most people were content to wash the important parts and not immerse their entire body in hot water on a daily basis, with good reason.  It was hard to get hot water, hard to fill a tub, hard to empty the tub. Plus, we always think to ourselves, “Euwww!  I could never live in the past ’cause they all smell awful!”  Well, yeah, they did, but you get used to it.  Seriously, your olfactory glands adjust.  That’s why you can’t smell yourself like other people smell you.  And if you think about it, our modern life with its smells of carbon exhaust and overly perfumed air might smell pretty rank to someone from 200 years ago more used to the fresh smell of manure.
Anyway, the plumbers assure me we’ll have hot water again.  Maybe by the end of the week.  So I’m optimistic.  In the meantime, I’ll keep writing about pirates and privateers and asking myself the really important questions.

Not Trump, the entrepreneur. Maass, the agent.

My local RWA chapter–Southwest Florida Romance Writers–hosted Donald Maass for a one-day workshop a few weekends back. I’d read his Writing the Breakout Novel over a year ago and found it interesting and workable. But like many of you, I’ve read a lot of how-to write books. Maass’ was interesting and workable but nothing significantly new.

Still, a chance to see the man in action enticed me. I heard he does a good dog-and-pony. He does. He’s pithy, personable and dynamic. (He also has a New York sense of humor that worked fine with me but I think may have been a tad off-putting for some non-NY/NJ-ers in the audience.) I’ve also heard that if  you get one workable idea from any book or workshop you attend, it’s worth the money.

I did. He was.

His workable idea–for me–was this: after you finish writing your first draft manuscript, print it out, go to the middle of the largest area of open space in your house, and toss the pages in the air. All of them. Let them fall where they may. Then sit on the floor and read pages at random, adding tension to each and every page.

Sound nuts? I thought so too at first. But he’s dead-on. Reason being, we read our manuscripts in page by page order. Again and again, as we write the story. Our minds get attuned to upcoming conflict (because we put it there) and we may be assuming or reading in more tension than is actually written.

Reading the pages out of order confuzzles the writerly mind. It makes you look at each page as a stand-alone entity. It makes you examine each page to see if you have tension.

What’s tension? To The Donald, it’s emotion. It’s immersing the reader into what the character is fearing, wanting, lusting for.  “What is the most powerful emotion felt in this scene?” The Donald asked in his wry New York accent. “Build details around that emotion.”

Still thinks it’s crazy? The Donald purloined pages from trembling victims in the audience and read scenes out loud. Then he changed one or two things adding emotion. And gosh-golly-dang, if they didn’t come out that much stronger.

And here I thought I’d heard–and read–it all. I hadn’t. Give The Donald’s idea a toss. It works.

~Linnea

SHADES OF DARK, the sequel to Gabriel’s Ghost, coming July 2008 from RITA award-winning author, Linnea Sinclair, and Bantam Books: www.linneasinclair.com
 
Something cascaded lightly through me—a gentling, a suffused glow. If love could be morphed into a physical element, this would be it. It was strength and yet it was vulnerability. It was all-encompassing and yet it was freedom. It was a wall of protection. It was wings of trust and faith.
 
It was Gabriel Ross Sullivan, answering the questions I couldn’t ask. Not that everything would be okay, but that everything in his power would be done, and we’d face whatever outcomes there were together.

I have an appointment this afternoon to join another member of our library foundation board at a framing shop. I’ve served on the Alachua County (Florida) Library District Foundation board for years, and our purpose is to raise one million dollars for our library endowment fund.

So why am I going to a frame shop? Because one of my tasks on the board was to oversee renovation of our meeting room at the Headquarters Library. The space was industrial and utilitarian, and what we wanted was a board room–a place that made people feel when they walked in that it was more than functional, it was attractive. Attractive rooms make people more relaxed, and we hope that translates into not only a nice meeting space for us, but also a room that will help potential donors see our organization as successful and worthy of bequests.

At the frame shop I’ll have to weigh in with my opinion on matting, framing the art for our board room, the lighting, the colors in the board room, etc. These details make the difference between something that makes someone respond positively, and something that jars their sensibilities.

This doesn’t come naturally to me, in decorating or in writing. At home, I’d hire a professional. In my writing, I write myself notes. I can be pounding away at a tense scene full of luscious dialog and I’ll have to stop and write in brackets [SOUNDS! SMELLS! SIGHT!] to remind myself to go back and fill in the details that make a scene work.

See, I know what it looks like in my head. You, the reader, may not. Not until I add all the little things that make a scene well rounded, that contribute to your understanding of who the characters are and what’s motivating them.

This is also useful when you don’t want to interrupt the flow of the story with details that absolutely, positively can be filled in later. I do this most with clothing. Unless there’s a pivotal plot point revolving around a piece of clothing (like the neckerchief that hides the lack of an “Adam’s apple” in a cross-dressing story), I can go back and fill it in later. So my first rough draft has things like “She studied her [BALL GOWN] in the mirror while debating whether or not to wear the [JEWELRY, SHAWL?] and thought about what she had say to him tonight…”

Clearly, what matters here in the big picture is what she’s going to say to him tonight. But the details! The reader wants to know what she’s wearing, and it makes a difference. Is it demure? Sexy? Finely tailored or hastily altered? All of these details make a difference, but you don’t necessarily need to agonize over them right away–you can revisit them later.

It’s not the devil in the details, it’s the beauty of your writing. If there’s a devil in this mix, it’s allowing yourself to get slowed down by the details. Just remember to go back and revisit them, and the details will help the reader respond positively to your story,

In the last year, the RWR (Romance Writers Report) has published letters to the editor with complaints of romance books having too much sex and foul language. Critics have said they don’t want to see beyond the bedroom door, and they consider authors who use foul language as being challenged individuals when it comes to finding words that better convey emotions.

For those individuals who prefer a more sedate book, please note that the market drives the demand for certain types of books. To make a living one MUST make accommodations based on what’s driving sales. Instead of sniping at fellow authors, sit thee down and write the good book as my friend Claire says. The same to protesters of foul language.

Writing romance isn’t something we can do in a vacuum. We need to either incorporate our reality into a book, or at least present an accurate picture of the past. We need to write what readers believe is realistic, and there are many romance readers who believe that sex, foul language and/or both is a vital component of a romance. With all that in mind, I do think some of the protesters have a valid point. There can be too much sex and too much foul language. Now before you tackle me on that, please note that I write erotic romance. I write carnal sex scenes in my romance works. I also use “foul” language. But here’s what some writers and readers don’t understand. Too much of something is a bad thing.

When writing sex, the writer needs to understand that it’s the sexual tension the reader wants. They want build up or at the very least a really good reason for the culmination of sex. Readers on the other hand need to understand that what they see as “too much sex in romance” is really a sign of poorly developed sexual tension and/or characterization. So instead of ranting about there’s too much sex in romance, start ranting about the lack of characterization or sexual tension. There is a big difference. In this humble writer’s opinion, it’s not that there’s too much sex in romance, it’s that the sex in a lot of romance is simply underdeveloped sexual tension and/or character development.

I applaud sex and foul language in romance when used appropriately and not repeatedly. And I believe that’s the biggest part of the problem. I think it’s the repetitiveness in so many romances that irritates readers. They just don’t realize it. The issue of foul language can be viewed the same way. For a character or scene the use of “foul” language can be quite appropriate, but too much makes for repetition and the words lose their impact. There’s nothing more powerful than the F-word used at a point in the story where that’s the only word that will do. But using it every other line reduces the word’s impact. The same goes for using words like clit, clitoris, penis, etc. These throw me out of the read. (I’m continuously asking myself if the majority of women really use those words when they’re making love to their significant others? Maybe some do, but I’m willing to bet a lot of women don’t. In fact, they’re more apt to be a little more base. *grin*) For me those words don’t ring true. They don’t sound realistic in the context they’re placed..

And that’s what this post is really about. Realism. Is the sex realistic, appropriate and written into the story at the right point in time for the characters drawn on the page? Is the language used appropriate for the specific moment in the story? Has the writer avoided the issue of repetitiveness with both the sex and the foul words. Sex and foul language are integral to many good books. But when it’s overdone, it’s like overcooked beef — it’s dry and far from tasty.

Monica Burns is a multi-published erotic romance author. Her current release, Mirage, is receiving rave reviews, including a Top Pick from Romantic Times BOOKreviews and a “scorching” review from Sylvia Day.

Monica’s next release is Dangerous, a paranormal from Samhain Publishing. Visit her website for more information. http://www.monicaburns.com/BookshelfDangerous.htm

Or: Everything I needed to know, I learned from George Costanza

I’ve always loved to read, so it was no surprise to anyone when I eventually decided to write a book of my own. When I did, I attacked it head on. I planned, I worked, I outlined more than any woman should. The end result? I wrote three mysteries that didn’t sell.

I don’t know how many of you watch Seinfeld, but there is a time in George’s life where he decides what he’s been doing hasn’t been working, so he decides to do the opposite. That’s what I did with my books. I’d been writing serious mysteries, with lots of science and research involved. They’d generated some interest, enough to almost, almost sell. But nothing quite happened.

To take my mind off the latest mystery making the rounds with agents, I decided to write something completely different, a funny paranormal romance where I could build my own world and make up my own rules. I fell in love with the idea of a preschool teacher who is forced to run off with a gang of geriatric biker witches and THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER was born.

Instead of a 20-page plot outline, I had a 5-page list of ideas, one of which included “but little did they know, all the Shoney’s are run by werewolves.” Instead of following the rules, I broke a few. Instead of painstakingly writing over the course of a year, I giggled my way through the book and had a complete manuscript in five months.

The opening chapters did well in contests and caught the eye of an editor, who asked to see the whole thing. That same editor bought the book less than a week after I finished it.

I still can’t believe THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER will be an August 2008 release. And just this afternoon, I was working on the sequel, laughing with the characters and having more fun than I should.

While I’m not sure Seinfeld is the best place to go for life lessons, I really do think there’s something to be said for following your instincts – in writing and in everything else. Can you think of a time you’ve taken a different path? Broken out of a pattern and started something new?