The HEA Cafe

I had the best of intentions.  I actually wrote my post for the blog a week ago because I’m on vacation this week in the Great Smoky Mountains and I wasn’t sure what type of access I would have to the internet.  Luckily, I have wired internet access since I forgot to upload my post before I left.  Unfortunately I didn’t bring the drive I’d saved my blog on when I packed up the laptop, so I’m winging it. 

 Not a comfortable feeling for me.  If you read Linda’s post on introverts, you’ll understand.  I think I answered true to each and every item on the list.  I’m as introverted as they come.  Why am I taking a chance to write something I haven’t had a time to edit, polish and reread four times before I hit post?

 Because I made a commitment.  Time after time writers say the most important part of writing is the story.  I agree but I think the second most important is keeping your word.  If you volunteer to help at Nationals, serve as an officer for your local chapter or agree to write a monthly post to a group blog, then do it.  Don’t wait to see if something better comes along or slid out with a feeble excuse if it gets too hard.  Why?  Keeping commitments is an important part of becoming a successful writer.  Publishing houses need writers to meet deadlines.  Miss too many and you might just have trouble selling that next book.  If they can’t depend on you, people don’t want to work with you, whether that person is a member of your chapter, your dream agent or a publisher. 

 So, even if you have to come in from the hot tub with the view of the mountains while rain patters on the tin roof to write a blog post off the top of your head, do it.  You’ll feel better about yourself and find that keeping commitments becomes a habit.

The sun is shining, the daffodils are spearing out of the ground, the birds are chirping.  It’s springtime.  What am I thinking about?  Cleaning.  This time of year I get the urge to clean out closets, scoot out the refrigerator and vacuumn the coils, dust off the picture frames.  It’s a sickness.  Really.

But this year I’m going to try a new type of cleaning and I’m going to suggest you do the same.  This year I’m wiping my mind of all the rules of writing.  You know the ones.  The hero and heroine must meet in the first twenty pages.  Head hopping is a big no-no (anyone hear of Nora Roberts?).  Prologues and epilogues are wasted space.

Don’t get me wrong - some of the “rules” were created for a very good reason but I think we as writers get too bogged down in how we’re writing and forget why we’re writing.

Writers and readers love a good story.  If you have fleshed out characters with strong conflict and interesting plot, then the rules don’t matter so much.  So write.  Turn off the internal editor and sit at the computer and tell your story.  Then take a break.  When you come back and reread your work, you’ll be able to tell if that switch in POV during the love scene worked.  If you’re still unsure, get someone else to read it.  Here at RWA Online, we’ve got a great forum called Critters where you can post a scene or chapter and get multiple objective reactions.

Be true to yourself, true to your story, and forget the rules.  After all, spring is a time of rebirth and celebration of life and love.  Celebrate HEA for you and your characters!

I volunteered to be a homeroom mother for my son’s kindergarten class this year and I’m in charge of planning the Valentine’s Day party.  In addition to buying cards for his entire class, my son wants to buy something special for his girlfriend.  Yep, his girlfriend, in kindergarten, and he’s already learned the way to a girl’s heart is through gifts.

Or is it?

My husband routinely forgets our anniversary and he believes Valentine’s Day was created by Hallmark.  He thinks cards and flowers are a waste of money and says no restaurant can touch my cooking, so romantic dinners are out.  The last piece of jewelry he bought me was my wedding ring.

According to romance novels, he’d be a loser but I would have to disagree.  When I got sick, he took over cleaning the house.  If he doesn’t work on Saturday, he gets up with the kids and lets me sleep late, even if he’s just come off nights and has only had four hours of sleep himself.  He rubs my feet every night when we sit on the couch and not only rents romantic comedies for me to watch but sits beside me and watches them without complaining.

He’s doesn’t confess his undying love daily but when he stares at me with that special look in his eye, I know I’m cherished.  The little things he does day in and day out mean more than the big romantic gestures heroes are known for in our stories.  He’d flunk out as an alpha hero but he makes the grade as a husband.

What’s the point of this blog?  I wonder if we’re setting unrealistic expectations for men.  The only man I ever dated who bought me expensive gifts, took me out for romantic dinners and swept me away on faraway vacations I ended up getting a restraining order against.  Real men are more likely to order takeout from the closest steakhouse, buy the most expensive, but ugliest, piece of jewelry in the store and spend a fortune on hothouse roses that have no smell or appeal.  

When we compare the men in our lives to the characters in the books, our real life loves are bound to come up short.  Of course, fiction is about fantasy but do we really believe there are men out there who act like our heroes?

I’m a romance writer and long-time reader and proud of it but I sometimes wonder if the stories we write end up making our readers long for something or someone they’ll never find and maybe even make them unsatisfied with the person they’ve chosen.  Maybe I’m wrong.  What’s your opinion?

Psst, come here.  Come closer.  I’m about to tell you the secret to success.  Do this one thing and all your dreams will come true.  Well, maybe not, but I bet they will more times than not.
What’s the secret?  Believe in yourself.
Too easy?  Just look at the best selling book, The Secret.  According to it, your positive thoughts can attract money, health and happiness.  Do I necessarily buy into the theories presented in this book?  No, but I do believe that a lack of self-confidence can keep you from having the successful writing career you want.
The most common result from doubting your own ability is that no one ever gets to see your work.  If you don’t believe that you are a good writer, you’ll never send that story to that contest, that agent, that editor who could read it and realize you are the next great thing.  A less common, but just as debilitating, result is that you don’t trust in your talent enough to push harder, dig deeper.  Your story won’t be as strong because you just don’t have the faith in yourself that you can write it and write it well.
I’m the first one to raise my hand and say that I’m guilty.  I don’t always believe in myself the way I should.  I think, at some time, every writer goes through a period of doubt, but you have to work through it, you have to believe in yourself, you have to remind yourself of all the work, all the sacrifices you’ve made so far.  Do you really want to give up and have that all mean nothing?  Even the bible says, “as a man thinketh, so is he” (Prov 23:7).  Think of yourself as a successful writer.  See your dreams, your goals, coming true.
Keep believing, keep reaching and, most importantly, keep writing.

On the first day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            A desire to write a book…

On the second day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the third day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the fourth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the fifth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the sixth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Six rough drafts, five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the seventh day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Seven blogs for posting, six rough drafts, five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the eighth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Eight contests to enter, seven blogs for posting, six rough drafts, five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the ninth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Nine agents to query, eight contests to enter, seven blogs for posting, six rough drafts, five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the tenth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Ten editors wanting partials, nine agents to query, eight contests to enter, seven blogs for posting, six rough drafts, five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            Eleven rejection letters,  ten editors wanting partials, nine agents to query, eight contests to enter, seven blogs for posting, six rough drafts, five reference books, four plot threads hanging, three online classes, two critique partners and a desire to write a book…

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my mad muse gave to me

            A contract!

Here’s hoping all your Christmas wishes come true!  Merry Christmas…Kim