The HEA Cafe

. . . I should be writing. In fact, I should be writing all those other days too. And even some of the nights.

Why is that? you ask (unsuspecting that I’ve set you up because you haven’t had enough caffeine yet this morning).

That’s because when I get to the end of a book I become a HUGE procrastinator. You see, in my head the whole story is perfect. Everything I’ve set up plays out just like it’s supposed to. The emotion is intense, believable, and so gut-wrenching that the story is a Keeper.

What holds me back is fear. Fear that I’m going to fumble, miss, and instead of providing the emotional read of a lifetime, send the reader down a dark hole without a flashlight.

Is it possible to get past my anxieties and actually finish the book?

I’d have to say yes, probably. After all, I have finished books before and managed to live through the experience (barely). I have to say that it feels an awful lot like jumping off a very high diving board when you’re not the greatest swimmer. Still, I just have to do it and have faith that I can doggie-paddle my way to the side of the pool. I have to climb up that very tall ladder, walk to the end, look down, and–once I’ve chickened out a few times–talk myself back, close my eyes, pretend it’s all going to be okay, and go for it.

How do you manage?

I have a problem with endings: I hate them. This manifests itself in my life as an inability to finish what I start. I have at least five (maybe six or seven) knitting projects sitting in my basket that I can’t finish because if I did then they’d be done. I’ve thought long and hard on this, and I think it goes back to my parent’s divorce. So, it’s really their fault that my knitting basket is so full I can’t start another project.

I understand this mechanism. It’s fear of loss that’s holding me back. That’s why I have one-and-a-half socks, most of a sweater, and a book that I’ve been trying to finish for a month now.

Right. The book.

I know what needs to happen. I have it all sketched out. My characters are ready and waiting. But I can’t bring myself to actually write it in more than small increments, because when I do finish it . . . well . . . then it will be over. My characters will have achieved their satisfying ending. They won’t need me any more.

It’s a painful loss that’s hard to contemplate. Waking up without them on my mind. Riding the bus without hearing their voices in my head. No more scribbling words that are coming faster than my hand can capture them to paper. How will I manage without that?

Unless I can sell this story as the first in a series . . .

Hmm. That just might work. But I have to finish it first.

–
Gina’s first book, The Raven’s Revenge
is available in print from Amazon.com
(and it only took her 10 years to finish)

So, here it is the 26th of the month and I’m right on time (if you don’t count that it’s late in the day) with my monthly post on motivation.

I was having a chat today on IM with RWA Online member (and my American Title sister) Michele Ann Young, and we were talking about throwing away words. Pages and pages of words. And it occurred to me, that no matter how sad and useless that always seems (and how much we rail against it) it’s okay to do that because writing is never wasted. Even when we’ve spent three days on a chapter that no longer has any use, or two years on a book that will never see the light of day, as frustrating as this can be, writing isn’t wasted.

It all goes back to something one of my professors said in college. He was a history professor and a bestselling published writer (not a common combination to be sure) who had written the book Nine Hours to Rama. (You might remember the movie they made out of it.)

I remember asking him for advice one day. It was the usual question from a young and impatient novice, something in the vein of “how do you write a book?” But his answer was gold. At the time, I thought he wasn’t taking me seriously. Finally, all the how-to books later, all the workshops later, all the critiques later, all these years later I understand the wisdom of his advice.

“Well,” he said, “you have to write a million words.”

So go forth and write.

Gina
—–
The Raven’s Revenge coming out in print in June!
From The Wild Rose Press
(and it only took about 1.1M words to get there)

It’s my day to blog and you know what that means don’t you? I’m going to talk about staying motivated. Turns out that staying motivated is almost as hard as writing. There are so many reasons not to be motivated. Just from my own life: a very sick cat requiring extensive testing and now force feeding (he’s getting better thank you but it was rough going), the day job, the kids, worrying, lack of time, lack of energy, lack of inspiration, feedback (bad and good will stop me–oy, don’t ask), fear, and just plain laziness.

So how does a person overcome so many obstacles and actually get something done? I’ve tried reward systems, but they don’t work with me. I guess that’s because I wasn’t raised that way. No cookies when I was good. No money for good grades. I can’t even coerce myself with the promise of an iPod Touch. I’ve made my own deadlines and missed them consistently. On the other hand, every outside imposed deadline I got from mu publisher I made.

This points out to me that I can do it, and it has something to do with Newton’s third law (also called the law of inertia):

If no net force acts on a particle, then it is possible to select a set of reference frames, called inertial reference frames, observed from which the particle moves without any change in velocity.

Got that?

In other words, “An object will stay at rest or continue at a constant velocity unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force”.

That’s me. I am that particular object in need of external unbalanced forces to get me moving.

So, let’s inventory the unbalanced forces . . . I have imagination, stubbornness, and determination and when I remember to use them (instead of just whinging about how hard it all is), I can count on them to push me through that part of the book where all is lost, because without that momentum I’m bound to agree with my characters.

A wise friend once convinced me that I had to finish my book or my characterse would never get their HEA. And I did it. (For the record, that appealed to my sense of responsibility which is what works with a publisher deadline as well.)

How about you? How do you keep yourself going?

. . . the tough get off the internet.

That’s my challenge for myself this weekend. I have a lot of writing to do. I’ve been slowly eking out the rest of my book, but the writing has been very slow. Too slow.

When I examine what’s going on, the answer is very clear. I stop too many times along the writing road. I check my email here. I check my favorite blogs there. I massage what’s in my Amazon cart. In other words, I never fully get into the zone because I come up for air too often.

So, this weekend, I’ve challenged myself to stay off the net and get some quality writing in. I don’t have a set goal of words, but I do know that I can’t get this manuscript finished, polished, and into the hands of prospective agents if I don’t finish it.

Now that’s motivation.