What’s in a word?
When I was trying to get published, I prepared myself for a lot of things. I knew that family time would suffer, deadlines would need to be met, rejections faced … but there was one thing that never entered my radar.
My friends gave me every encouragement along the path to publication. They supported me, encouraged me to keep going when things got tough, they celebrated with me and cried with me – they still do. Most of them. Yet a couple have reacted very strangely. One was shocked at the cover of one of my books, declaring “I didn’t realise you wrote THOSE sort of books”. Another was visibly surprised when she found out I wrote sex scenes, as if I didn’t have enough experience to write sex (hmm … surely I must have learned something in 33 years of marriage).
That’s all okay, and I can deal, but when one told me that using bad language, in dialogue I might add, was a sign of sloppy writing, well, that I couldn’t handle. It’s not as if she’s a purist – she has no compunction peppering her sentences with the odd swear word.
At first I was so taken aback I considered changing the dialogue, but then I realised that first and foremost I am a writer. I spend time creating a character and it gives me great pleasure when that character starts speaking and acting in his/her own unique way. So, the dialogue stays. If it loses me a few friends, then so be it. The true ones are still there … supporting, encouraging and ready to offer an expletive in my defence when required.
Tricia
I’m always surprised at some of the comments people make right to my face about what I write. One of the other Kindergarten mom’s fairly casually told me she’d picked up my book in Borders but couldn’t get past the first couple of pages because ‘it was basically porn” I didn’t know quite what to say to her-because she wasn’t really being accusatory or aggressive just stating a fact
Of course LATER I realized I should have said “I’ve never read any porn so maybe you can tell me how they equate?” 
LOL, Kate! Plus I’m mindful of something my mum always says… those who can, do; those who can’t, criticise.
It is disappointing when jealousy rears its head, but it can happen. All of us have probably lost a friend or two along the way. It’s sad, but you can’t control how others react to your success. Your true friends will stick with and stay supportive — and forgo the nasty comments.
Gail – how true, and the support of true friends makes up for the few who are lost.