The HEA Cafe

As I mentioned yesterday, most disc jockeys wear a couple of different hats. Here are some of the duties that can come in addition to a four- to six-hour air shift:

Production. This is the term for recording the commercials and promotional announcements that air on the station. Some commercials – or “spots” — come pre-recorded from an outside, professional agency. These pre-recorded spots are called “dubs,” and it’s a relatively small matter to record them into the station’s computer system. A small matter, but somebody’s gotta do it. The overnight guy (or gal) usually gets stuck with most of the dubs, because their skills may not be polished enough yet to deliver a spot that’s guaranteed to make the advertising client happy. Also, some dubs have a nasty habit of arriving late!

Agency dubs are those slick, professional-sounding spots you hear for the big department stores, fast food chains, etc. But at a medium-to-small-market station, a lot of the advertising revenue comes from local businesses, and that’s where the jocks really get busy. They’re given a script to produce. Sometimes they have to write it, too. More often, the scripts are written by the sales rep, or even worse, the client. THAT’S where you get those commercials with the truly awful dialogue: “Honey, I’m SO tired of sleeping on our lumpy old mattress!” “Well, then, let’s go to Sally’s Sleep Shop, where NOW THROUGH SATURDAY, they’re offering FIFTY PERCENT OFF …” Clients (and sales reps) will often have high expectations, such as multiple voices, sound effects, or someone who can do a dead-on Arnold Schwartzenegger impersonation. The rep may turn the script in at 4:00 (deadlines notwithstanding), and expect the commercial to start the next day. This is where the jock begins pulling his or her hair out. You can see where you could get a lot of story material out of this!!

The overnight jock may thirst for the day when he or she gets to record — or “voice” — his/her very own spot. Usually the enthusiasm is short-lived. Many jocks would happily live without doing production if they could. A few have a natural talent for it. They’ll be relied upon heavily – often more heavily than they would like – but this valuable skill may keep them employed in the event of staffing cutbacks, especially if the radio station changes hands.

Live broadcasts: Radio staffers refer to these as “remotes,” but for clarity, it’s easier just to call it a live broadcast. A disc jockey is sent to another location – a community event, or a local business – to talk it up and, ideally, bring people in. They’ll usually call in to the studio from a cell phone, where the jock who’s on the air will either talk to them live (this is chancy), or, usually, record the call-in for the next break. Live broadcasts usually last 2 to 3 hours, with about 3 call-ins an hour. The live broadcast is usually sold as an advertisement to promote the location, though at some community events or a big concert, the station may choose to be there.

Now, to bait listeners to drop by, the jock will usually have prizes: station T-shirts, bumper stickers, CDs, or goodies from the place of business they’re visiting. This will attract a certain number of “prize hogs” – people who follow the radio station obsessively, go to tons of remotes and relentlessly demand freebies. One prize often isn’t enough, even if they already picked up prizes at another remote earlier in the week. The worst thing about these folks is that the advertiser who’s paying for this exposure isn’t likely to see any business from them. And the station is supposed to be bringing in business!

Then again, some businesses who choose to use a live broadcast are pretty ill-advised. Not many listeners want to drive out for all the fun and excitement at a vacuum cleaner store or a uniform supply shop … but I promise you, I’ve seen remotes held at those places and worse. Sometimes the jock won’t even have prize hogs for company … in which case they have to work hard to make it sound like SOMETHING is going on, and try to avoid standing there looking lonely.

Program director: Usually one of the most experienced jocks doubles as the program director, supervising the on-air staff. They get paid a little more to do this, but I’m not sure it could possibly be enough! If the morning show host says something bad on the air, the “P.D.” gets to yell at him/her. If someone doesn’t show up for an air shift with ten minutes’ notice, the P.D. usually ends up filling in. If the computer crashes and there’s dead air, the P.D. will be down there at 4 AM in his or her socks. If the ratings are down and management starts getting twitchy, the P.D. feels the pressure. (Are those jocks talking too much again? Do they sound too young? Too old? Too mild? Too “in-your’face”?) The program director is also usually involved in developing promotions for the station such as on-air contests. They often schedule the jocks for their remotes and talk to the consultants about which songs are to be scheduled. Sometimes a P.D. will delegate some of these responsibilities … but it’s a gig that really brings out the workaholic in a person.

Music director: Another hat for an on-air staffer. The music director implements the consultant’s instructions on which songs to play, usually filtered down from the program director. Depending on the station, they may have some latitude here, but it’s limited. The music director generates the daily computer log listing the songs by each hour.

So, disc jockeys can be a busy lot. But a radio station isn’t run by jocks alone. I’ll talk about some of those other staffers tomorrow. Then, on Friday, I’m declaring it a free-for-all. Be on the watch for any questions I may have left unanswered … then pop in and ask away!

Sierra Donovan
LOVE ON THE AIR, Avalon Books
www.sierradonovan.com