The HEA Cafe

What Not To Do…

 Below is one of the first queries I wrote.  To be honest, I did go back and make it a touch worse than when I sent it out, but not by much!

 

Kim Amburn

My house

my email@server.com

 

Defunct Harlequin Line

233 Broadway, Suite 1001

New York, NY 10279

 

Dear Editor,

 

Have you ever wondered what happened to the one who got away?

 

In Second Chances Lori Davis finds out that not only is the bank where she works a target for serial bank robbers but that the corporate offices hired the security firm owned by her first love, Grayson Taylor.  Since the thieves hold the family of the branch manager hostage while the banker is forced to clean out the vault, Lori must find a way to protect both her daughter and her heart.

 

I am a member of RWA and a graduate of Clemson University.  I’ve attached the synopsis and first three chapters.    Thank you for your consideration.  I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

Kim Amburn

 

 

Attachments:

SASE

Synopsis

First three chapters

 

So what’s wrong with it?  To start with, always do your homework.  Don’t address the query to Dear Editor.  Learn who is acquiring for which line (or what agent represents the genre/subgenre you write). 

 In the first paragraph (not counting the line that was supposed to tweak the editor’s attention and probably failed miserably), I should have added the word count and subgenre.  How would the editor know if this manuscript would even fit in her line?  It could be too long or too short - it could be a short story, for all she knows.  Is this a comedy or romantic suspense?  The harder you make it on the editor/agent to figure out what you’re trying to sell, the easier it is for her to pass on the query letter.

Where’s the second paragraph?  Instead I had one insignificant line to try and explain a 75,000 word manuscript.  Query letters are short, true, but you do have room to write a two to three sentence paragraph that summarizes your book.  I hardly know what the books about from that one sentence and I wrote the darn thing!  Deb Dixon’s book, GMC:  Goal, Motivation, and Conflict is great for this paragraph.  You can write up the GMC for the hero and heroine and have the heart of the book laid out for anyone to understand.

 The third paragraph isn’t too bad, although since I wasn’t an English major, who really cares where I went to school?  The main thing here is to thank them for their time and ask for what you want.  ‘I look forward to hearing from you.’  Also, make sure that you only give them what they ask for - don’t include a synopsis and three chapters if their website specifies query letters only.  Again, do your research.  Don’t make it any harder on yourself or them than it has to be.

 I hope this online workshop has helped.  I apologize for the delays in posting.  If you have any questions, please let me know.  Thanks!

Sorry for the delay in posting this workshop - I’ve been stuck in airports for two days with no internet access! 

 Today’s portion of the workshop covers the basics of a query letter.  Tomorrow I’ll post a sample query letter of what not to do and how to fix it.  The rest of the week will just be for Q&A, but please feel free to ask questions at any time.

 This workshop is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced elsewhere without explicit written permission.

 

THE QUERY LETTER

What is a query letter?  It’s your first impression, possibly your one chance to introduce your work to an agent or editor.  Even if you’ve met the person at a conference, the query letter is not only a more formal method of communication, but a tangible reminder of the connection you made.  No pressure, right?

 

You want your letter to represent you.  The letter should be professional, succinct and indicative of your style.  It should not be gimmicky.  The letter should be free of misspellings or bad grammar.  Above all, don’t misspell the editor or agent’s name! 

 

The basics of a query letter are easy.  Print or type your letter on white 8 1/2 by 11 inch paper.  Single space the sentences with double spacing between paragraphs.  Include your contact information - name, address, email, phone number and web site, if you have one.  Address it to a specific editor or agent, not to whom it may concern.  Enclose a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope).  Even if you don’t want your information returned, you’ll want an answer, so make it easy on them.

 

The content, the meat of the letter, gets tougher.  This is your chance to sell your manuscript, sell yourself.  Don’t be shy.

 

Typically, the letter runs three to four paragraphs. 

 

The first paragraph introduces your work - the genre/sub-grenre, word length and title.  If they’ve requested the submission or you’ve met them previously, remind them here. 

 

The second paragraph is a short blurb of your book.  Give them your hook, make them care about the plot and the characters.  You don’t need to list every major detail - you’ve only got a paragraph after all.  If you get their attention, they can get more detail in the synopsis or the manuscript.  Show them what makes your book special, unique.

 

The third paragraph lists your accomplishments.  When I first started, this paragraph scared me more than any other.  I had no accomplishments.  I wasn’t published, I hadn’t won any contests.  I had, however, joined Romance Writer’s of America and RWA Online.  An association with a respected writer’s organization, such as these, can show the editor or agent you are serious about your work.  Also, if you have a background or experience that relates to your manuscript, list it here.

 

The last paragraph closes the letter.  List the enclosures, if there are any, and thank the person for their time.  What enclosures should you include?  It depends on the person you’re targeting.  Do your homework.  Some agents/editors only want a query letter.  Some want a synopsis.  Some want sample chapters.  Don’t give them more than they want and definitely don’t give them less.  This is your chance to shine, so any samples of your writing should be polished and error free.

 

Tomorrow I’ll post an example of a bad query letter, written by yours truly, and how to fix it!

 

I thought we’d talk about something fun this week.  I’ve been to numerous author chats and this question comes up alot, so I thought I’d post the question here.

If you could spend time with Five (5) people out of history that have affected you or your writing in one way or the other, who would they be and why?

Blog Diva

Dangerous Season is the first in my “Harbor Intrigue” series for Love Inspired Suspense. I love to set stories in local settings that I think are especially beautiful and intriguing. This series is set in Bayfield WI which is on that little finger of land that projects out into Lake Superior pointing toward Canada. Bayfield is a small community completely dependent on the tourist season which sets up an interesting tension to each of the three stories since the townspeople don’t want anything keeping tourists from coming for the summer-fall season.

 In Dangerous Season, Audra Blair, a single mom with a little girl, is trying to get her cafe established. But an arsonist with a taste for nasty booby traps chooses her and those she loves as his targets. Why? Who is it? Keir Harding is the new sheriff, a hometown bad boy who’s reformed. Can he find out who’s setting these nasty surprises before someone dies? And is he worthy of Audra with his misspent youth?

 

 

Narian Summer

by Tianna Xander & Bonnie Rose Leigh

copyright 2007, Cobblestone Press

Genre: Sci-fi / Vampire / Menage

Avaliable April 13th, 2007

Blurb:

The summer heat on Naria used to be a welcome time–a time of fertility and bounty.  A time where the Narians celebrated life and everyday worries could be easily tossed aside for momentary pleasure.  After three millennia of cultural and scientific stagnation coupled with a blatant disregard for their home planet, the summer heat is now deadly.

As Naria’s citizens prepare to leave their world in search of a new home, three Vampyre find that love can happen in only one day’s time.  Lania Cadmus meets her mates, Nicolaos Konstantinos and Herodes Kreios, aboard their ship, The Poseidon, and quickly realizes they are determined to make her their mate.

With only one day to get to know each other before the fleet departs, the men must not only get past Lania’s fear of intimacy, but prove to her that love is all they’ll need to take with them on their journey to a new world.